Monday, June 18, 2007

Honeymoons Are Unfair

Looking at this from a Christian perspective... why do newlyweds go on a honeymoon? I know that there is probably some traditional or biblical reason for the honeymoon, but I don't want to get into the history of it right now. Just looking at it plain and simply:
A honeymoon seems unfair to me.

I am often amazed at how many wedding gifts we're expected to receive at all the events that involve the big day. Engagement gifts, personal bridal shower gifts, general bridal shower gifts, wedding gifts, the gift of relaxation on the honeymoon, and of course the gift of sex. I find myself asking Jen, "Why do we need all these gifts? Isn't sex enough of a wedding gift for us?" It seems unfair that we will get married, then get to have sex, and then we get to go off to have a vacation, relax, and have more sex.

After being engaged for about 7 months, and knowing that we have exactly 4 months and 2 days until our wedding day, I often find myself twitching with impatience. When I was single, sex wasn't an issue because I didn't have anyone who was willing to get into bed with me. It wasn't an option. But now that I'm committed to Jen, the sexual desire is very real and much harder to control because my feelings are reciprocated.

So why do we really need a honeymoon? Isn't just the fact that we can have sex enough?

I pondered the importance of a honeymoon for a long time. Is it anything more than just a vacation after I get married? That's like buying a ticket to a baseball game and then finding out later that it'll be a double-header! I thought about when I was single Christian guy and didn't have anyone in my life as a potential sexual partner. Why don't I give that guy my honeymoon? That way, it will be fair. He will get the fun vacation and I'll just stay at home and have sex with my wife. Then we're both happy!

So why do I get to have my cake and eat it too? Well, marriage is hard work. So everyone tells me. But not just that... a good marriage is hard work. A quality, long-lasting relationship that is focused on Christ and being servants toward one another. That's hard work.

It's easy to be single. It's easy for me to come home and not have to listen to someone after my long day at work. It's easy for me to clean my dishes when I want to clean them. It's easy for me to invest in other people's lives when I choose to leave my home and focus on others. It's easy when I have control.

I guess it makes sense now. A honeymoon is a time supposed to be spent relaxing and transitioning into a harder life. A life that will teach me to be more sacrificial. A life that will teach me to listen to my wife when she wants to be heard. A life that will teach me to get up off my ass and help her make dinner instead of waiting in front of the TV. A life that will teach me to appreciate her strengths instead of rolling my eyes at her faults. Even though it's a more difficult life, it's worth it. It's a life where two persons become one in order to work together intimately, bettering the world for Christ. And I'm excited! Not just because of sex, though. That's just a bonus!

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her - Ephesians 5:25 (NASB)

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