Jen and I started our Biblical Pre-Marriage Class at our church this past Sunday. We are so pumped about what we are going over in the curriculum.We are both required to read Reforming Marriage (by Douglas Wilson) and do required homework assignments along with it. Also, I am supposed to read The Silence of Adam (by Dr. Larry Crabb, Don Hudson, and Al Andrews), she is supposed to read For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men (by Shaunti Feldhahn), and we are both to each write a paper on what we learned about God, ourselves, and the roles we will play. I have heard great things about these books!
Also, we took the PREPARE pre-marital program questionnaire, which is a set of five inventories that examine major relationship issues that we might experience as a couple (or highlight issues we're already dealing with!). We are scheduled to meet with our pastor and his wife to talk about our results. I am very excited about this! I think it will 1) Be fun to talk about our relationship openly to a couple that wants to help us out, and 2) Be a humbling experience of how we can grow closer as a couple.
Overall, we are so thankful that our church can provide help for couples facing the overwhelming future of merging two lives (and help for others, too). So many Christian couples jump into marriage, thinking that it will be a breeze because they think Christ will solve all of their problems. What they are missing is the fact that God gave them a brain to use, to prepare for the pains of adjusting to living with another sinner. The divorce rate for Christians is at least, if not higher than the national divorce rate... likely because of this naive mindset.
We want to best represent Christ and His love for the church. So, we're taking the steps necessary to do so. The more we focus on our relationship with Jesus, the more we can fully grow together as husband and wife.
Another sinner? You're fiancee is a Christian, isn't she? Is that our true nature, that of a sinner?
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I'm just picky here, but maybe it's better to think that you're living with another person whose identity is Christ but still has a flesh to contend with.
Yes, our identity is Christ because He redeems us by dying for our sins. But that doesn't change the fact that we still sin and have to deal with the consequences of sin. Just because Jesus has taken the penalty for our rebellion doesn't mean that we don't still rebel against God.
ReplyDeleteIn our marriage, we MUST recognize the fact that we are sinners. If we expect our spouse to be perfect, then we are setting ourselves up for failure.
I think that we are pretty much saying the same thing, though.
Yeah, we probably are, and we're probably using terms interchangeably. Yet, the more I think about it, the more important I think it becomes to really nail down the terms we choose. I think when the Bible refers to "sinners", it's not referring to those who have become new creations in Christ. I think as Christians, we are people who have been transformed by Christ but still struggle with our flesh and are tempted to sin against God.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that we are no longer sinners by nature when we accept Christ. We become new and transformed, and our nature and our identity is now with Christ and not with sin, as it was before we knew Christ.
I definitely don't consider myself a sinner. I consider myself an adopted child of God, transformed and redeemed by his grace, who is still imperfect and still lives in a fallen world and still makes choices at times that are not what would please the Lord. I think there's an important difference there, and it communicates a world of difference to those who don't know Christ.
That's very interesting... because I totally see your point, but I still would definitely consider myself a sinner. Here's my definition of what a "sinner" is: A person that keeps disobeying God. I certainly fit into that definition. I disobey God all the time... by not reading and knowing my Bible like I should (Ephesians 6:17), by not praying as much as I should (1 Thessalonians 5:17), by being lazy (Proverbs 12:24), by being unloving to Jen (Matthew 22:38), or by elevating my personal desires above God (Matthew 22:37).
ReplyDeleteI would love to get into a debate about additional tiny little issues and what I believe about our "nature" is, but we really have more to agree on than disagree. The important thing to me is that we both recognize that we disobey God; Christ has saved us from death and we both have made a commitment to God by giving up the rest of our lives trying our best to please Him.
In general, I think that what communicates the most to those who don't know Christ is not what I "consider myself" to be, but by how I display the Gospel in my life.