Monday, October 20, 2008

1 Year Anniversary: My Ring

I love my ring. Jen gave it to me one year ago today.

The gold band [see photo] was Jen's promise ring that she had worn since she was 16 years old. We asked the jewelers to remove the amethyst in her promise ring, make it into just a simple band, then solder it to the ring I picked out. This little item is super special to me. However, something I realized a few weeks after our wedding is that it's even more special to her.

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About 11 months ago, as I was getting used to wearing a ring, I often played with it. I fiddled with it, rotated it, and even sometimes took it off my finger to toss it in the air like a coin. Bad idea.

We got into a huge argument about how she expected me to treat my ring. She was afraid I would drop it and lose a valuable item, while I was upset that she would think me incompetent enough to drop it. You know... silly fights on the outside but deep, understandable feelings on the inside.

Of course I dragged on the argument by belittling her feelings, saying, "It's just a piece of metal. It's not the end of the world if it gets lost, you know." Another bad idea. We responded to each other back and forth with heated opinions, only trying to prove the other person wrong.

After too much time was wasted on being selfish, we finally saw the ridiculous hole we dug ourselves into and decided to forgive each other. We confessed our sin to each other, apologized, and renewed our commitment to be humble and kind.
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Jen loves it when her ring looks flawless and sparkles in certain lighting. But my ring is different. I love having the scratches and dents on the surface. Up close, it looks battered and used. To me the scratches represent the tough fights and arguments that we have been through in our marriage so far--much like the one that happened to be about this particular item.

Marriage is not flawless. Two imperfect people trying to work together in life is bound to be difficult. I am thankful that on my wedding day, one year ago, my wife and I didn't expect our lives to be perfect in marriage. What we did expect was to be humble, serving, and forgiving to each other (with the power of the Holy Spirit) no matter when times were good or bad.

Now, looking at my ring with all the scratches on it, I am thankful that God is the One who gives me the power to treat my wife lovely. Our marriage has a purpose that is not for ourselves. It is for the Lord God that made the heavens and the earth. And there's no other woman that I'd rather have with me than my cutie Jenny Penny.