Just when I thought I said all I can say, my chick on the side said she's got one on the way. ... Says she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it. First thing that came to mind was you. Second thing was, How do I know if it's mine, and is it true? Third thing was me wishing that I never did what I did, how I'm not ready for a kid and bye bye to my relationship. ... This by far is the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do. To tell you, the woman I love, that I'm having a baby by a woman that I barely even know. I hope you can accept the fact that I'm man enough to tell you this, and hopefully you'll give me another chance. This ain't about my career, ain't about my life, it's about us. Please.
These are Usher's lyrics from Confessions Part II. I absolutely love this song, not only because it's fun to dance and sing to, but also because these lyrics have a real depth and honesty in them. But this honesty makes me wonder what Usher's standards are for being a "man."
What is a man? No, I don't mean just an adult male, but a real, quality man. I agree that a man should certainly have this honesty that Usher refers to, but isn't it more than just that? How deep should it go?
How about a different guy...
I haven't been to the dentist's office in awhile, so I thought I'd get my pearly whites checked on. When I was filling out the papers in the waiting room, this little old lady rushed in and said it was an emergency. She broke her tooth. The secretary said that she would have to wait until a spot opened up for the doctor to fix up her tooth. I could tell that the little old lady was in pain, but she was trying to cover it up. I got up and told the secretary that she could take my spot. The little old lady was very grateful. And I was too because she smiled back at me.
Now, think about this... between Usher and this second guy, who is more of a "man?" You'd probably think the second guy is more of a man, enough to give up his reservation to the old lady with the emergency, right? Because when you compare the two, of course that's better than a guy cheating on the woman that he loves and getting pregnant with the other chick.
Well I happen to know that second guy. He's me. And what I did was just as bad (if not worse) as what Usher sang about. It's called pride.
I may not cheat on my fiancee and I may not get chicks on the side pregnant, but I can actually think so highly of myself that I believe that my esteem comes from myself! Self-esteem is such a joke when you think about how we are such a speck of dust compared to the Lord of the Universe. He can hold the universe in the palm of His hand, and yet I think that I'm so great. Jesus is the One who completes us, He is the One who fulfills us. Self-esteem is inherently problematic because we have flaws. However, God-esteem is perfect for us. God gives us our worth.
So, what is a man? Is it someone who simply acknowledges that he made a mistake to the woman that he loves? No. Is it someone who is proud that he helped out a little old lady when she has a broken tooth by giving up his dentist appointment? No. It's even more sacrificial than that. It's acknowledging the fact that he is nothing compared to Jesus and will be a servant to Him because of how great He is. A man has a servant's heart.