S-A-H D Lesson #7

Stay-At-Home Dad Lesson #7: Baby Einstein is ridiculous.

We borrowed a Baby Einstein DVD from the library, popped it in, stuck Nolan in front of the TV, and watched what would happen.

We were stunned.

It was mesmerizing! It was beautiful! It was........ ridiculous.

On the DVD we watched, it was just normal everyday stuff moving around to some classical music. I listed some examples of what I saw on the screen below.

I saw...

• A toy turning around in circles.
• A flashing light glimmering off a shiny object.
• A little train going around a track.
• Liquid dripping out of a bottle.
• Hand puppets moving across the screen.
• A girl playing a toy piano.
• A girl playing a toy saxophone.
• A girl playing a toy drum.
• Balls rolling across the screen.
• An adult hand stacking blocks.
• Plastic toys spinning around.

All of these scenes were simple, basic, normal things that I could have done with everyday objects right in front of him. Baby Einstein is nothing special. It's just typical, everyday stuff.

I understand there are some situations where just putting your kid in front of the TV for a long period of time would be helpful, but I know that some people actually consistently show these DVDs to their babies because they think it will make them smarter. Ridiculous.

All you need to do is spend time with your child, play with them, and show them interesting things that they have never seen before. Develop a relationship with your child. Get to know them. Find out what they like. Take a variety of objects in your home and show it to your child so they learn about the world. Have them touch it, put it in their mouth, and discover new things around them. All these will do wonders for their future.

S-A-H D Lesson #6

Stay-At-Home Dad Lesson #6: You learn as you go.

When I first started taking care of Nolan several months ago, he was about 2 months old. I barely had time to do anything for myself. At that time, I thought it was crazy how some parents are able to take care of twins, or even children at different ages...and don't get me started about how on Earth someone could possibly take care of sextuplets or some insane fertility accident. How exhausting!

If you had a newborn and a 2-year old, for example, how would you get the baby to sleep when the terrible two-year old is screaming or misbehaving or going psycho? I know you would try to do nap time at the same time, but how could you do that in a small apartment? They certainly couldn't share the same room, could they?

That's what I used to think about. But now, I see that you learn to be more efficient as time goes on. Nolan is our first child, and this is obviously my first time taking care of a baby full-time. It makes sense now, looking back on the last few months, that I have become more efficient and smarter with how I schedule a daily routine. Likewise, it makes sense that you would also learn as you go when it comes to multiple children. Thankfully, I have had the help from a lovely wife to answer my questions, as well as help from the wonderful internet, family, and friends.

S-A-H D Lesson #5

Stay-At-Home Dad Lesson #5: I need a kiss when you get home.

I am alone with a crabby baby all day. I need to know that my hard work is appreciated. The best way that I feel like my bringing-home-the-bacon-breadwinner-of-a-wife is thankful for me is when she comes home and kisses me before she does anything else.

Old photo from 2009 surfing trip

I heard once somewhere, maybe a college course, that one of the best ways to succeed in having a quality marriage is by making sure to kiss each other when you see each other after work. I think that is so true. It certainly helps with me. I am much more loving and serving to my wife when she shows me that she appreciates me through a simple kiss. Even if I had a bad day, it can all turn around when I know my wife wants to kiss me.

This is something I really need to remember when I am the breadwinner again (someday) and she stays home. I need to remember that the rest of the evening when I get home from work depends on my first few actions when I come home.

S-A-H D Lesson #4

Stay-At-Home Dad Lesson #4: The fruit of this labor does not blossom immediately.

I like to be productive. I like to see results right away. When I am used to that type of work, it is difficult for me to be a stay-at-home dad.

When someone stays at home to raise a child, it takes a lot of labor. That is obvious. Taking care of children is a lot of work. However, the fruit of that labor is not immediate. It takes many years to see the fruit of good parenting.

My cranky baby boy

The funny thing is, it also takes many years to see the bad fruit of bad parenting. Once the child realizes that they have choices and decisions to make in their lives, they decide to disobey the parent(s). All of these years of laboring to take care of your child is thankless work. Thankless work that does not pay off until they are older.

Jen is much better at this type of work than me. I get bored with changing diapers and having my son scream into my ear when I am trying to get him to sleep. But I know it will pay off in the end. I do it because I have to love him in that way. I don't know how Jen can find so much joy out of those thankless chores, but I am just glad that she fits into that role with joy in her heart.

Nolan Passing Through

We are having lots of fun with Nolan this summer!

Nolan's First Swim

We were lucky enough to get to go down to Arizona to visit Jen's family this past weekend. Of course in the Arizona summer we wanted to go swimming, so we took Nolan for his first swim! It was lots of fun and Grandma was able to film it (below). He was so excited and loved it!

S-A-H D Lesson #3

Stay-At-Home Dad Lesson #3: Some days, you just don't feel like taking a shower.

We just got back from visiting family in Arizona, which is exhaustingly hot this time of year. This morning, I woke up...well, I kind of woke up as Jen was getting ready for work. I realized that I was supposed to be looking after our son who was peering over the edge of our bed. Lunging for him, I had forgotten how much traveling has an impact on my energy level. I took Nolan downstairs as Jen finished her morning routine, not thinking about my funny hair standing on end. Jen kissed us goodbye, and with a frown on both of our faces, I closed and locked the door.

All I had on were shorts. Nolan had more fabric covering his body than I did. Hours went by, we played, watched TV, then decided to take a walk to the mailbox a block away. I put on a t-shirt and flip-flops, grabbed my keys, and plopped my 7 month old in the stroller.

While walking down the street, I realized that before I had a child, I would never have done this. When it was just Jen and I, and even when I was a bachelor, I always took a shower in the morning. It was just part of waking up. I would absolutely hate to be out in public without showering. But now, sometimes I just don't feel like it. And I think that's okay.

Oftentimes husbands complain that their wives may "let themselves go" after being married for awhile or after having kids. Staying at home, I see the other side of the coin. Why must you always get ready for the day and pretty yourself up when the day doesn't involve adults and usually includes green bean spit up on your shirt? I understand that Jen wouldn't want to come home to me every day with funny hair and stinky, which is why I usually try to clean myself up in order to give her something nice to look at. However, sometimes I think the occasional lazy day is certainly understandable. And I'm sure she would agree.