Kid Quote: What Others Think

The kindergartners usually come late to our after-school program. My co-worker usually has to go down to the other end of the school and lead them down to the cafeteria, which is where we spend most of the afternoon. Two of the boys walked in the door and came up to me, like usual, as I am the one who makes sure the kids are checked-in. They were both arguing with each other, and as one of them ran away, the other stayed to talk to me.

"He told me that I was late coming here, but I wasn't," he said, trying to prove his case to me about being right.

At first I was a bit confused about him making such a big deal out of something as trivial as his friend telling him that he was late. The first response I was thinking in my head was, So what? Who cares? But as I saw tears welling up in his eyes, I understood that this somehow hurt his feelings. As I comforted him by talking with him, I reassured him that sometimes other people say things that aren't true. "Sometimes people are wrong, but there's nothing that we can say that will change their minds," I told him. "It's usually best to just ignore them and do what we know is right."

It is amazing how much kids care about what other kids say. Most adults still haven't grown out of this. So many adults can't get through a day without caring about what other people think. Most people desperately care about getting approval from certain people in their lives. May it be trying to fit in with a specific group of people, or getting into an argument in order to prove someone else wrong, or choosing not to help a person in pain because others might see.

Thankfully, God has designed relationships in a way that we should ideally care most about getting His approval. After all, if we care most about what God thinks, then our lives would be much more beneficial to others and pleasing to Him.

Image from blaugh.com

My Tattoo

I recently wrote about my Poland Syndrome. In the post, I mentioned a guy who is ashamed of his deformity and decided to tattoo 98% of his body to cover his "ugliness." I see myself in a completely different way: I am thankful that God created me with Poland Syndrome. So, I decided to get a tattoo for two reasons: 1) I wanted a visual reminder of how God is in control of things that we cannot understand, such as deformities and problems in our lives, and 2) I think tattoos are cool.

God is ultimately in control of the universe. He is in control in ways that we cannot comprehend. This is what it means when it is stated that God is sovereign. A good biblical story of God's sovereignty is in the end of Genesis: the story of Joseph. Here's my quick summary:

Joseph's older brothers envied him so much that they planned to kill him. Instead, they sold him into slavery and lied to their father, telling him that a wild animal ate him. Joseph grew up as a slave and ended up using God's gift to him, dream interpreting, to aide Pharaoh in Egypt. Joseph became Pharaoh's assistant, in charge of the food they saved up for the famine. Joseph's brothers end up coming to Egypt to request food, and they found Joseph alive, deciding whether or not to give them what they need to survive.

I love Joseph's response to his brothers: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives," (Gen 50:20). That is clearly a great story about forgiveness. But it is especially about God working through a really crappy situation in Joseph's life (being sold into slavery) and using it for something good (saving many lives). [For the details of the story, read Genesis 37-50. This is my favorite Bible story; I highly recommend it.]

Knowing that God is sovereign, it gives me hope when bad things happen in my life. Sure, I am deformed a little bit. But God can use that in a good way too. What ended up happening as I grew up with this deformity is that it humbled my pride. I have a big head (both figuratively and literally). Pride is the biggest sin that I struggle with. So, it makes sense that God uses my Poland Syndrome as a clear visual reminder that I see every day in the mirror. It helps me remember that I'm not perfect and I'm not as great as I think I am. Naturally, when thinking about where to put my tattoo as an additional reminder that God is sovereign, I wanted it in the same place. And as a mirror image, I can read it every morning when I look into the mirror. A constant reminder that God is in control in ways that we can't always comprehend.

Oh yeah, and I got it because I think tattoos are cool. Now, I certainly know that this in no way makes me "cool" at all. After all, I did get lightheaded after he was done tattooing me. :-)

I also gotta give props to the guys at Canyon Body Art, which is where I went. They are very professional and friendly, as well as great artists. I went there based on my friend's recommendation and I would definitely go there again.


Related Posts:
I Have Poland Syndrome

Will My Child Have Poland Syndrome?
My Daily Battle With Poland Syndrome

Do You Work Hard?

Stacks and stacks of paper. Reaching up to the ceiling. Blocking my view out the window. Covering the floor of my office. Threatening to fall onto my keyboard or monitor. Granted, these enormous stacks were well organized, waiting for either data entry or file storage, but I couldn't help but wince when looking at what I had to do. It was a lot of work.

When I used to live up in Seattle, I had an office job. Even though I had large stacks of paperwork to manage, I also had a computer, a desk, drawers, and my very own office (shared with only one other co-worker). While many people see these things as positives, I see the negative things associated with them. I remember laziness, procrastination, and selfishness.

I was lazy. I got to work in the morning and I would move slowly. Sitting in my chair and staring out the window would frequently occur. I procrastinated. I saw the pile of papers on my desk, but chose to ignore them. Surfing the internet while listening to music would frequently occur. I was selfish. I knew that my work would benefit others and advance our group's mission, but I didn't care. Writing on my blog instead of helping others would frequently occur.

I even got to the point where I posted this Bible verse above my monitor to motivate me to do my best: Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labor. -Proverbs 12:24.

Now don't get me wrong, I was a good worker. My co-workers praised me for the work I did for them. They appreciated me very much. However, I knew my limits. I knew how hard I was really working. I knew the moments I was slacking off when I should've been doing work.

I think most people slack off sometimes when their boss or supervisor isn't looking. It is reasonable logic: Why work hard if your boss isn't paying attention? You get paid the same if you do the bare-minimum as you do if you do your best.

My current job at the YMCA is a bit different. I don't have a computer to work on, and I have what seems like a million kids screaming, fighting, and running around. You'd think that it would be easier to focus and harder to procrastinate. After all, if a kid starts bleeding, I certainly couldn't just ignore the kid and expect to keep my job. But there are down-times when I might chat with someone on the phone, text message my friends, or shoot some hoops without paying attention to the little rascals.

But God sees us. He knows our every thought and our every action. We can't get away with anything with Him. If He has given us life and saved us from eternal damnation, don't you think we can save that text message until after we clock-out? Don't you think we can wait to surf the internet until after we get home?

Or better yet, maybe just don't text or go on the internet at all? Imagine what great things we could do for the advancement of the gospel if we actually worked hard and focused on the stuff that is really necessary in life?

Do you work hard?

Church Family Update

This post is mainly directed towards our friends up in Seattle, many of whom we haven't seen for almost a year since moving to Portland.

We are loving Portland and we have joined a church called Imago Dei Community. We are in the process of becoming members, since we truly love the people here and their mission for Jesus. Coming from Mars Hill Church's Ballard Campus, there are many similarities as well as differences. Overall, Christ has been easing our transition into a new community here and we are thankful for His changes now and into the future.

There are many connections between Imago Dei and Mars Hill. Most notably, Pastor Rick McKinley at Imago Dei is friends with Pastor Mark Driscoll at Mars Hill. Additionally, we have met people who know people here and there and it's just good to see the two communities overlapping. The Imago Dei atmosphere is very much like Mars Hill in that it is relatively artsy, earthy, and authentic. By authentic, I mean the people that I have talked with and have gotten to know well personally. And I certainly am not inferring that other churches lack authenticity, but just by contrasting the two churches, I find a striking harmony.

On the other hand, I have noticed many differences between the two churches. Before I continue, I just want to state that I don't think there's anything wrong with churches being different from one another. Each church is made up of its own individuals, therefore being affected and directed by the hearts of those individuals working as a group. As long as the church is pleasing Jesus by staying on mission, then the different churches can learn from each other in order to bring growth and maturity. I have found that Imago Dei and Mars Hill differ in their hearts for people, their presentation style, and their tone of attitude.

Imago Dei clearly has a heart for social justice. It is very easy to get involved with some type of volunteer group that provides help for the needy. Examples include Advent Conspiracy, p:ear, and a group I have become involved with through our home community, Operation Nightwatch. Mars Hill, on the flipside, I believe to have more of a heart for disunity in families. Pastor Mark tries hard to be counter-cultural in Seattle and talk about how the church loves kids, has strong marriages, and boasts healthy families because of Jesus' work transforming lives.

Their presentation style is vastly different. To complement Imago Dei's heart for social justice, the church rents out a high school auditorium on Sundays and, for the most part, only spends money on what it needs to get by week to week. To complement Seattle's Microsoft and Amazon.com, Mars Hill goes all-out with their state-of-the-art stereo system, lighting, and technology.

The tones of the attitudes of the two churches are interestingly different as well. Going along with Imago Dei's heart for justice and low-end presentation style, and Rick McKinley preaching, you'd expect a down-to-earth, humble, empathetic group of people. That's just what I see. Likewise, going along with Mars Hill's heart to be for families with a high-end presentation style, and Mark Driscoll preaching, you'd expect a large group of people who love humor, theology, and technology/musicianship. It's wonderful for drawing people to know Jesus.

Jen and I love the community in this body of believers in Portland. Our new home community group has welcomed us warmly as we are developing relationships there and growing with the group. On Sunday mornings, we began to volunteer with the kids in their services, much like how we helped in Seattle. After realizing our experience with kids, they immediately promoted us to start teaching and leading our own class. This has been a great experience. Jen is working with preschool ages and I am working with elementary ages. So, with this as well as our weekday jobs, the only days that Jen and I are without kids are Saturdays. But that's okay, because we love 'em! We learn so much from them all the time (especially patience!) and it's great to be so involved in helping to mold their lives.

Although Jen and I both miss Seattle very much, we feel very comfortable and at peace here. We know that we followed God's lead to bring us here. We identify so much with the heart of our church--for social justice. There is so much work that Christians need to do in the city of Portland that God can use us for. He has certainly placed us here in this place for a reason. Not only to be closer to the extended Riedl family and old friends, but to be of good use to God and the mission He has for us.

Merry Christmas from the Riedls

A few funny pics from Christmas Day at the Riedl household...

We made a snowman since it was a White Christmas in Portland:



The best Christmas cookie I made this year:


Don't eat the yellow snow! Ho ho ho!!! Jen didn't like this cookie so much. I guess I'll be the one eating it! Yum!

The Dance of Headship

The husband is the head of the wife. --Ephesians 5:23a

Headship in a marriage covenant is often misunderstood. Many people see the verse above and are immediately turned off. It is unfortunate because these words are very important when read in context. Here is the full verse, along with a similar one:

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. --Ephesians 5:23

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. --1 Corinthians 11:3

Clearly, the husband and the wife are both under some type of leadership. The wife is being led by her husband, her husband is being led by Jesus, and Jesus is being led by God the Father. Many women are upset that Scripture tells them to be led by their husbands for one of two reasons: 1) They want to lead instead of being led, or 2) They want to make every decision together, 50/50, completely equally.

We came across this issue in my Family and Gender Seminar course in college. I proposed an analogy that helped some people understand the roles that God calls husbands and wives to: dancing.

The man is the leader on the dance floor and the woman follows the man step for step. The man is responsible for any mistakes that occur in the dance routine (just ask any professional male dancer and he'll apologize even if the woman makes a mistake when it is clearly her fault) but he takes responsibility for the mistake because he is the one that should be leading her in the correct way. This does not mean that she does not have her own responsibility to do her part in the dance, it is just a different responsibility. It's like the responsibility that completes the "leader/follower" diadic interaction. They are both equal because they are just two people dancing, but in order for it to work, one needs to lead and one needs to follow. There can't be two leaders or two followers. That's what makes it an efficient interaction by avoiding conflict and confusion.

The problems occur when they do not work together. If the woman does not want to follow the leader, then the dance doesn't work and it looks ugly. The same thing happens if the man leads the woman in a way that she doesn't want to follow. Communication and compromise between the two dancers is the key to dancing successfully.

They both need each other and it is a balanced relationship because it takes each one and their contributions in order for the dance to become a beautiful work of art. The same thing occurs in marriage: If one does not lead and one does not follow, then confusion and conflict occurs when it doesn't have to.

There will always be inequality no matter how hard we try to make things equal. One person will always be more controlling or more of a "leader" in a relationship, so why not use that to an advantage? We can see that this "inequality" in dancing (one is a leader and one is a follower) can be used successfully in order to make something beautiful. However, if this inequality is abused (and in marriage it too often is) it can cause obvious problems in the interaction, resulting in dancing that looks horrible (as does the marriage).

God created us differently in order for us to use our unique attributes in different ways. In God, there is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and each of them are equal. Yet, they each have unique attributes and also are all One at the same time. Marriage is very similar: Christ, the husband, and the wife all must be united together in God's perfect leadership structure. In order for it to succeed, however, husbands and wives must lovingly desire to fill our God-given roles with humility, sacrifice, and patience. After all, dancing is hard work! So is marriage.

Photo from etonline.com

I Have Poland Syndrome

Most of my friends already know of my birth defect. Even some of the guys I shared my college dorm with called me Nemo because of my "lucky fin." I have had lots of laughs around the topic of my dead sexy deformed body, but I realized that I have never written about it on my blog. Well, here you go: I hope you are encouraged and learn something new.

There is very little known about Poland Syndrome. According to the National Human Genome Research Institute, it is a rare birth defect named after Alfred Poland. It is estimated to affect between 1-in-10,000 and 1-in-100,000 births. The cause is unknown, but "most evidence supports the idea that something happens during the 6th week of fetal development," possibly an interruption of the embryonic blood supply, stinting growth in a certain area.

This congenital deformity is characterized by many features, but here I will list the ones that specifically apply to me:

• Absent pectoral muscle
• Brachydactyly (short fingers)
• Humerus, radius, ulna bones abnormal
• Upper limb asymmetry

Based on pictures I have seen of other people online and looking at the few other frequent features, it seems to me that I have a relatively mild case. I am missing my right pectoral muscle, my right arm bones don't rotate properly, my right arm is noticeably smaller, and my right hand is abnormally small with some crooked, short fingers. However, I can still do most normal physical activities that others can do.

I am very physically athletic and use my arm as if it is normal. I play sports, do push-ups, pull-ups, handstands, and even back handsprings. I have found that other muscles compensate for my missing pectoral, allowing me to have enough strength to perform basic activities. However, there is a significant lack of strength in my right arm muscles. I find myself using my left arm a lot more when maxing out on push-ups or pull-ups.

One of the most fascinating things is that I am predominately right-handed. However, because of the crooked fingers and the slower responsiveness of my right hand, I switched over and learned to write with my left hand. I still kick with my right foot and often still carry bags with my right arm because it feels natural to me. But because my left arm is stronger, I usually carry heavy items on that side.

Very few people notice it when my shirt is on. I used to be nervous to take off my shirt in public. For example, when playing a fun game of ultimate frisbee, I would be bothered if someone declared, "Okay let's make two teams--shirts versus skins," and hope that I got on the shirts team. But that was years ago. Now I am comfortable taking off my shirt because adults don't tease the way that kids do. Most people are fascinated with it.

I have come to appreciate my deformity. It's funny saying that because it doesn't really seem like a deformity to me. I am who I am. Everyone is different. Some people have big ears, some people are bald, some people are big, some are small, and some people are missing their pectoral muscle. Not a big deal to me.

What makes me sad is when people are ashamed of their Poland Syndrome. There is one guy I found online that hates his deformity so much that he had tattoos put over 98% of his body to cover it. In one article I read, he said that he feels more valuable and special because of the tattoos. He also said he got the tattoos in order to hate his body less. Such a sad story.

I believe that God made me this way for a reason. I am humbled every day when I look into the mirror and am reminded of what's really important: our life mission. One day our bodies will waste away and return to the dust of the fields. How do we want to be remembered? How will God remember our lives on the earth? These little physical issues in my life are nothing. They are worthless in the grand scheme of things. So, why take my body so seriously? Who cares what other people think of my deformed body? Who cares if I can't look like those ripped underwear models? God cares about my heart. What I want to do with my life is use it to worship and honor the Lord of all Creation ... no matter if it's perfect or if it's deformed.

Absent pectoral muscle is the
most common deformity in PS

Related Posts:
My Tattoo

Will My Child Have Poland Syndrome?
My Daily Battle With Poland Syndrome

Other Links:
Poland Syndrome - Wikipedia
Poland Anomaly - NHGRI
Polands-Syndrome.com
The Poland Syndrome Foundation
The Poland Syndrome Foundation (Facebook Group)
Poland Syndrome Support (USA) (Facebook Group)