A week and a half ago we went to get the routine ultrasound checkup to make sure Nolan is the correct size and all that good stuff. It all went wonderfully. The thing that I keep remembering the most was how much movement we saw. We could see, on the monitor, his little heart beating. We could also see that he was kicking a lot, even though we couldn't feel it on the outside. Nolan was kicking Jen's bladder (which needed to be full in order to do the ultrasound) so much that Jen couldn't take it anymore, needed to stop halfway through and go the restroom.
It is most amazing, as a father, seeing this little being moving around inside of my wife's uterus. I have always been looking forward to this moment because I have always anticipated being a father. I always thought I would be joking around, saying stuff like, "Wow, that's my little alien!" But in this moment I am realizing that this is something miraculous. God created a life when my sperm met her egg and now he is the size of spaghetti squash. Pretty soon, he will be born, in school, learning long division, wanting to kiss a girl, and eventually making babies of his own. It's the amazing circle of life and I had better not screw it up! I am quite confident that I will be a good father, however, feeling the responsibility that lies ahead of me after watching a little kicking on an ultrasound monitor really helps me realize that being a father is a serious thing.
Since then, I have started to feel Nolan kick (which is totally awesome), I have been talking to him, kissing him, and cuddling with him and Jen. It is feeling more and more real as time passes, and once he is born it will seem extremely real. For now, though, I will be preparing by reading books (two books I have opened so far: "The Expectant Father" by Armin Brott and Jennifer Ash, and "The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin), helping my wife, and praying for the baby.
Oh yeah... and finding a job. :-)