Friday, November 30, 2007

Weddings Are Overrated

After being married for a little over a month now, I think back to our wedding day and I have come to realize that weddings are overrated.

Now don't get me wrong. Weddings are certainly important. And fun. Although honestly, it's a lot more fun attending someone else's wedding than worry about all the details of your own. And yeah, it was definitely wonderful to see all of our friends and family there, but that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about how easy it is to anxiously await the wedding day and not prepare for the actual marriage. The wedding is just one day, but the marriage is a lifetime.

How screwed up have we gotten that we invest so much time, energy, and money into one single day and not even think about all the days after? It's so easy for us to be excited about one day, one moment, one second... but then it disappears so quickly.

For all you science nerds out there, it's like the Doppler Effect: You just got engaged. You can see the wedding day in the distance. The day is approaching. You begin to plan, organize, and prepare. The pressure builds. The day is coming closer. 11 months. Pressure builds. It's getting louder. 6 months away. All of the plans are falling into place, but you get busier with preparations. 1 month away. It gets louder and louder. Pressure builds. 2 weeks away. Then it's right there in front of you! It's tomorrow! The bachelor party! The rehearsal dinner! Then, the wedding! Then... WHOOSH!!!!!! ...the wedding is behind you. It's quiet. It has passed. Whew.

Now it's normal life again. Now we have the whole rest of our lives to live. The wedding went by so quick.

It would have been so easy to just focus on the wedding during our engagement, but Jen and I made sure to focus on our relationship first and foremost. We used our engagement as a time to learn and grow about each other. A kind of "trial and error" with our communication and interaction. Because of that, we have been well-prepared for not just the wedding day, but for our marriage.

Sure, the wedding day is a celebration of the uniting of two people committed to each other. But my wedding already seems like a dream to me. It doesn't even seem like it happened because it went by so fast. I'm just glad that we didn't just prepare for that one day, but that we prepared for every day after as well.

Related post: First Thoughts From Married Life

Image from wikimedia.