Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Reflecting on God's Faithfulness

I was hunched over, face on the floor, crying out to God. Two and a half months ago, at the beginning of the school year, I was alone. I moved here to Ontario, Oregon, without my wife and son. My evenings were excruciatingly lonely and filling with worries about what the middle schoolers might do to me the following day.

Each night I had to put together sad, pathetic meals with only plastic silverware and paper plates. After living in a comfortable motel for a week with a cozy bed, I moved into an apartment with no furniture and empty cupboards.

I couldn't wait for my family to join me.

Now, after surviving one quarter as a full-time middle school math teacher in the poorest county in Oregon, I can see God's faithfulness. At the time, I felt like I would never get through the stress and pain of being a new teacher in a new school in a small town far away from the city I know so well. I'm currently feeling relief as I am beginning to get into a comfortable rhythm as a teacher. Tonight I ate a warm, delicious meal cooked by my beautiful wife. We have also been crawling around on the floor, playing with my cute son.

Even though life feels much better now, we are still experiencing stress and pain. I still work 65+ hour weeks as a new teacher. It's difficult to keep from thinking about anything other than solving for x and trying to figure out who is throwing the damn paper airplanes in class. I can't spend as much time with my family even when I know that I need to. Life is still really hard right now.

Thankfully, I look back on how God was faithful to me when I was hunched over, alone, crying on the floor of my empty apartment. He brought me my family and a warm meal. And he will do it again. There is a lot to look forward to.